GOOD DAY

It's a great day - day 5 - and I've lost 4 pounds - love it. I worked for Chris for a few hours - I wonder if I'll ever get his stuff balanced for this weird change over to Ltd company. We are very close to our overdraft limit - which sucks. I was hoping we'd get ahead this month and now realize that the fire insurance is due in 3 weeks. Does it never end?

It's almost 8 pm and I've managed to stick to few carbs - and I mean a very few. Craving a burger and the bun. That won't happen anytime soon.

DAY 4 CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

Nope can't believe it - but it's true the end of day 4 and so far haven't started to eat the table legs or Harry Dawg. Though HD would be protein and good for me. 

Worried about my kidneys and hoping that they are working as they should be. They do tend to not work all that well. Will Google Atkins and kidneys later.

ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF COGNITIVE FRAILTY

Couldn't sleep worth shit last night and in moments of clarity and there was one or two - I realized that my increased weight was what was affecting my sleep and my weight to remain stable.

So in a moment of cognitive frailty I've decided to give it at least 15 day of Atkins and Skinny Fibre. Lord knows I could use the boost.

It is day one of the initial fun of dieting - and only 20 carbs a day allowance of my precious delicious but killing carbs.  Sighing heavily.

Limiting myself to 2 delicious  a day - and NO CHIPS, BREAD, BUNS - sorry didn't mean to shout.

Stayed in my housecoat all day - it was that kind of day.  Freaking snow and more snow. Lovely warm bubble bath in the afternoon, a nap or two and listening to a story on audible. Began to work on a grandmother's flower garden quilt. Found a bag of already cut hexagons - geeze I think I did those at least 4 years ago. One thing about this kind of quilt - it's great to sit and listen to something while

hand sewing the flowers - trying to decide on the colour of the pathways -

“Today is a new day. Don't let your history interfere with your destiny! Let today be the day you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start taking action towards the life you want. You have the power and the time to shape your life. Break free from the poisonous victim mentality and embrace the truth of your greatness. You were not meant for a mundane or mediocre life!”

- Steve Maraboli

6:21 AM - BEEN UP ALL NIGHT

In the wild world of my life - once again I could only 'cat' nap all night until finally the dawg and I got up, made a cup of coffee. Love my Tassimo. And began to hit the old MAC to see what's up at this time of the day.

Apparently not too darn much. As I was meandering through FaceBook pages I discovered a few scary things - Not actually sure how I found them. In fact I was so astounded I actually thought something was wrong with my MAC - porn on facebook. And not just any porn - disgusting filthy porn that involved bodily functions and sex. How that is fun I'll never know.  To each his own I say, but shit, doesn't facebook watch out for this kind of shit - no pun intended - My eyes and mind have been seriously scarred. How to erase memories???????

Then I began to think back to where I was physically a year ago. I was seriously ill with congestive heart failure. My heart was functioning at 15% which barely allowed me to get from my chair to the bathroom to the bedroom. I was down 80 pounds, looked good, felt like crap.

Today I've managed to gain back 35 hated pounds without even trying - story of my life - but with the gain of a pacemaker and great genes - I'm up to 40% heart activity and can actually walk and talk at the same time. I go up and down the stairs - slowly - but do it and I'm working a few hours every day even more of a bonus. I'm even quilting, something I didn't have the energy to do for years.

Now to get rid of THE HATED FAT - sighing heavily - a battle that has been ongoing my whole life, well since I was 15 - so let's say for 50 years. You'd think I'd have figured it out by now. But I'm just not willing to submit to to the pain of consistent exercise and not eating foods I like and yes that is painful to contemplate as well.

So once again I turn to 'miracle pills' in this case something called Skinny Fibre - gawd knows what is in it - supposedly fills you up. But the thing is, I'm not all that hungry. I just like the taste of food. The feel of it on my tongue, the glorious flavors, the crunch, the mush - everything.

One would think that after actually dieing I'd smarten the fuck up. Sigh - this really is a rambling blog, snicker.

AND ANOTHER THING - EBAY

I just relisted my Royal Doulton Stanwyck pattern china. Why is it when you buy the damn stuff off of ebay - it's like crack cocaine and you can't stop. Yet when you sell it - sigh - it's sneered at by one and all of the professional ebayers. 

(just a small ramble - arrrrrrgggghhhhh)

SOME OF MY BOOKS AND WHERE TO GET THEM

The Prince and the Privateer.  This is one of my favorite books that I've written. Son in law Ryon created the cover

Shadowed Legacy - takes place in Vancouver - I must write a sequel to this

Magical Moonlight - the first book I ever published - could use work but what the heck

Shadowed Magic - a 2nd book after Magical Moonlight - the story continued

The Dance - This was written for a very good friend who has now passed away - filled with romance and mystery. 

APPARENTLY THE WHOLE WORLD IS BLOGGING

So I figured, why the heck not. Though I often think the life of a 60ish - don't you love the whole "ish" thing woman and novel writer is rather boring. It will be interesting to write down just how boring - or maybe not so much - who knows.

I have 3 novels on the go - one is a rewrite of something I w rote years ago and is only 127 pages. I'm attempting to add another 200+ interesting pages to it before submitting it for publication.

The 2nd is my first attempt at a hetro mystery.

And the 3rd has been completed for years but is disjointed so I've sent it out for editing. Maybe new eyes will be able to pull it together.

Heard from a friend in Toronto yesterday, his father has had a stroke, I wish money and strength were in excess so that I could head to Toronto to just be there for him. Instead once again I'm relegated to the sidelines.

Another young friend has separated from a 12 year relationship. Again I wish I could be there for him. Sigh - getting old and being on a pension is a rather big downer.

My daughter dropped over today for a few minutes and I had to wonder once she left how we all manage to never find the time to visit except at holidays. We are most definitely not as close as I am to sundry other girls and boys - most of whom are now in their 30's and 40's.